Pizza Chain Competition Is HEATING UP

I consider myself a pizza connoisseur of sorts and although I typically don’t buy from chains (because their pizza sucks) I felt it was my duty to the people to touch upon some recent Pizza Hut news. Their parent company Yum Brands is investing $130 Million to give the pizza chain a make over!

Now, if you’ve watched TV at all over the last two years you know that Dominoes has invested a shit load in advertising to tout their improvements in store experience, pizza “quality” and digital experience. Well Pizza Hut is finally going to fight back. With this announcement they are ready to make some huge(?) improvements.

New Pizza Boxes
“We have cracked the code on how to deliver pizzas hotter,” said Zipporah Allen, VP of marketing at Pizza Hut. Their new pizza boxes will have thicker sides to help hold in heat better, a design they spent over two years to perfect. Drivers will also start using new insulated pouches when delivering pies to customers to keep them warm.

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Be honest with me, when you read that they “cracked the code” on how to deliver hotter pizzas, were you thinking of these improvements? No you weren’t. Want to know why you weren’t? Because they are LITERALLY the exact same things that every pizza company ever has been doing for years. Having said that, Zipporah (aka Captain Obvious) may be onto something here. With so many smart people in the world, coming up with cool new ideas every day it’s hard for a normal like myself to impress anyone these days, but not anymore. Now I can take an old idea,  slap a phrase like “cracked the code” on it and boom, smart….the sky is the limit.

More Drivers
Pizza Hut is also planning on hiring 14,000 more drivers in hopes that they will be able to better serve their customers with the expanded work force. Forget trying to make a better pizza, that’s just silly. This is just business 101, supply and demand. Hire thousands of drivers who need to work (demand) and customers will naturally supply them with orders to deliver.

I use the same methodology in my real life. If I continue to spend more money on watches, vacations and alcohol, my work HAS to pay me more, it’s really just simple economics.

Real Talk for a second though, if Pizza Hut was a stand alone company, I wouldn’t touch that stock with a 10 foot cheesy bread.

P.S. – One last gem from Zipporah, “This is pizza-eating season. … The weather is starting to get colder out there” Is this actually a thing? I always just assumed pizza was a year round food…


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