Sears Unleashes A Secret Weapon To Lead Its Comeback This Holiday Season



I can feel your anticipation through the screen. Is it a completely new website? Is it a redesigned store a la Nordstrom?

No dummy, don’t you know anything about retail and eCommerce trends? The secret weapon is The Sears Wish Book, a 120-page guide to “all your favorite gifts” that they originally discontinued back in 2011….

Image result for and? gif

Nope, no ‘and’…that’s it. This guide is, as the Sears CMO described, “the new ‘genie in the bottle'”.

First off, I have never heard someone use this phrase in a business setting before so naturally. I had to google it to be sure I haven’t just been living under some kind of rock and these are the top results I got:

1) Christina Aguilera’s song (still a classic)

2) This definition “If you say that the genie is out of the bottle or that someone has let the genie out of the bottle, you mean that something has happened which has made a great and permanent change in people’s lives, especially a bad change.” Which, albeit true, is probably not what the CMO meant.

3) These very NSFW Urban Dictionary definitions.

Second, I was actually thinking the other day how easy technology is making our lives…maybe too easy. Voice control this and artificial intelligence that. My dad walked to school in the snow, uphill both ways every day. What am I gonna tell my kids? When I was your age I had to drive my BMW places and actually steer it myself!*

Well, apparently Sears and I are on the same page. Why use the internet to search for exactly what you want from nearly every item in the world when you can leaf through a 120-page book of select products. The press release goes on to say “The interactive digital Wish Book provides shopping convenience this holiday season, letting members shop wherever, whenever and however they chooseHowever you choose…as long as you only want one of these products.

I guess this book originally came out in 1933 and amongst other items in that first edition, there was a FIVE (5) pound box of chocolates. Ga’dam I thought we were a fat country now, but I guess we’ve come a long way.

In all seriousness, this is absurd. Yeah, the Wish Book is a fun thing to release, but why are you wasting your time on this. Better eCommerce functionality, improved logistics, and a transformed store experience are how retailers are going to survive. Not releasing 120-page books that are going to turn into fire starter before you can say, ‘we missed Q4 sales’.

*Anyone with half a brain knows that once Nvidia develops a working Sky Net AI we are all dead anyway so this is really a moot point.


Leave a Comment

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: